Why Does Joe the Plumber Hate the Handicapped?

Oh My God!

The election is over. A bombshell was just dropped on Jim Treacher’s Blog–and it is freakin’ huge!

Treacher has discovered that Joe the Plumber, the puppy-killing, children-kicking, gay-bashing, Republican dupe, hates all handicapped people–including, but not limited to, Trig Palin!

Word is, he will be calling for the lynching of Trig (We all know that that is what Republicans do, right?) sometime before the election, forcing John McCain to decide between his running mate Sarah Palin and his new best-friend, and horrible, evil human being, Joe the Plumber. What is the most maverick-y choice? I’ll put my money on that. Hmmm….

Please God, help me kill the handicapped, the sick and the old...

Please God, help me kill the handicapped, the sick, all minorities and the old...wait, not the old...not yet. Waha haha

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Motivational Dude

Goodchild Exclusive: An October Surprise of the Third Kind?

The Aliens are coming and we’re all going to die. Just thought you should know.

His name is Charlie. And he looooves Spaghetti.

His name is Charlie. And he looooves Spaghetti--and blood.

Damn it. Now that we actually need them, all of our resident Alien killers are busy politiking!

I'll get the alien, you guys take care of the Democratic Legislature.

I'll get the Alien. You guys take care of the Democratic Legislature.

I’ll even take the Navy Seal/Alien Killer/Governor:

Sure, i'm a douchebag, but, wait, what was the question?

Sure, i'm a douchebag, but, uh, wait, what was the question?

Oct. 14th – Would Peaceful Aliens Pick A Time Of Great Fear?

Blossom Goodchild Is A Genius

Guys In Obama’s Neighborhood Vs. Guys In The Dude’s Neighborhood

“This is a guy who lives in my neighborhood, who’s a professor of English in Chicago…”
-Barack Obama, in the Dems’ Debate before the Pennsylvania Primary, talking about his friend, Bill Ayers, a current radical and former domestic terrorist.

The Dude recently went toe-to-toe with the One on the topic of “Affiliations”. I think I made the stronger argument, but, in the spirit of fairness, I’ll let you be the judge.

Dude: Todd.
A new father, Todd, doesn’t venture out of the house much, nowadays. He drives a truck and fills up the candy and toy machines at grocery stores and some such. Definitely not a terrorist.

Barack: Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
He’s a staunch supporter of the Palestinian people, he thinks the U.S. Government created the AIDS virus and he has enriched himself by spreading hate throughout Chicago, the United States and the rest of the World. But, definitely not a terrorist.

Dude: My good friend, Keith.
Keith is just about the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. He installs doors for Home Depot and he’s the type of guy that would give you the shirt off his back–you wouldn’t even have to ask this guy. Again, not a terrorist.

Barack: Well, there’s Bill Ayers.
Now, he’s a guy i’ve known for some years. I’ve been to his house, worked on many education issues with him, served on boards and managed millions of dollars at his behest. But, a terrorist? Why all this focus on terrorism, anyway? These are the types of issues that are setting us back. I denounce terrorism in every way, and again, I stand by my opposition to terrorism and devisiveness.

Dude: Jeremy.
Jeremy works with Keith. He recently broke his ankle playing softball, and now goes by the name ‘Gimp’ (As in bring out the…). He has two dogs and a fiancee. He loves America and is certainly not a terrorist.

Barack: Father Michael Pfleger
My friend, Father Michael Pfleger, is a truly devout christian who does a great deal of good work in my neighborhood. He is a vehemently anti-white white guy who panders to the crowd in front of him. Terrorist? Of course not. It’s absurd.

VERDICT: The Dude pals around with some interesting guys, for sure, but he doesn’t run around with anti-American radicals, or even, terrorists.

Other Interesting Items:

“My Opponent”

Congress: Finding Reasons To Take A Day Off Since 1776!

Quick question: Since when are Jewish holidays good enough reasons to get the hell out of dodge during an historic crisis?

Jon Stewart wants to know:

If it were, say, Christmas, I would totally expect these Congressmen to get off their ass and get to Washington to vote to “save America” from financial disaster. I mean, come on, man…

The real reason they booted on this issue: Politics, politics, politics. They wanted time to campaign and time to plan out their political strategies. Those Bastards.

Great Obituary From the Dallas Morning News

Edward “Bruce” Merritt

Merritt, Edward “Bruce” Born April 3, 1951 in North Carolina. He was one of eight children. His older sisters regularly beat him up, put him in dresses, and then forced him to walk to the drugstore to buy their Kotex and cigarettes. After graduation from high school he went on to lead a life of luxury in the United States Air Force. After excaping from the government he spent most of his life as a mechanic, husband, and father. Bruce Merritt never met a stranger, and in many ways was stranger than most. He is survived by one daughter, two grand- children, two ex-wives, unpaid taxes, and many loyal loving friends. Services will be held on Tuesday, September 23rd at 2:00pm.

Published in: on September 23, 2008 at 10:08 am  Leave a Comment  
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Published in: on September 23, 2008 at 9:37 am  Leave a Comment  
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Who is the Dumberest Celeb of the Moment? Garofalo, Damon or Chase

Hey Commenters, who’s dumberer?

Janeane Garofalo

Matt Damon

Chevy Chase

Obama/McCain: Time for Some Campaignin’

The Best of TV News Lip Slips

The best of television news folks’ lip slips. You know those, they’re the terrifically awkward moments when an anchor says “blow job” instead of “block party,” or accidentally outs their station’s weatherman. They’re completely embarrassing, uncomfortable, and downright Funny.

Watch here | digg story

Published in: on June 26, 2008 at 3:21 pm  Comments (1)  
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