Scum of the Earth

There is a special place in hell for people like this:

‘Funeral Day Burglar’ found guilty of 10 counts in Mo.

The Associated Press

PLATTE CITY, Mo. — A burglar who authorities say used the obituary pages to select his targets was convicted of 10 counts Friday.

Prosecutors say Dane S. Johnson and a co-defendant who pleaded guilty burglarized more than 30 Kansas City-area homes, picking their victims by reading real estate listings and obituaries, hitting model homes, homes on real estate tours or homes where owners would be attending funerals.

In one of the five Platte County cases Johnson was convicted of, a man was at a funeral for his wife while Johnson burglarized his home.

“It’s hard to imagine a more cruel and heartless burglary scheme than this one,” Platte County Prosecutor Eric Zahnd said. “Picking out a home to break into because the owner is at a funeral reveals a complete lack of any conscience whatsoever. Dane Johnson deserves every year he will spend in prison.”

Johnson, 35, of Kansas City, Mo., was found guilty of burglary and stealing and faces up to 78 years in prison. Co-defendant Landon N. Prothro received 28 years in prison in October 2006 after pleading guilty.

Johnson and Prothro were arrested after a 2006 home burglary in which a resident confronted them.

 

Memo to would-be robbers: Don’t take pictures with possible victims

This dude, Andre Smith, is just not very bright.

BENSALEM, Pa. — Police say they had no trouble tracking down a robbery suspect, because the victims had taken his picture while chatting with him at a bar a short time before the theft.
The suspect, Andre Smith, struck up a conversation with a group of women at a bachelorette party at the Bensalem Township taproom early Sunday morning, the township’s public safety director, Fred Harran, said Wednesday. The women were taking photos of each other when Smith jumped in front of the camera, Harran said.
Smith later was ejected from the bar for allegedly harassing customers.
When two women in the group left the bar to go to a nearby convenience store, Smith robbed them of their purses, Harran said. The women recognized Smith - who apparently didn’t recognize them - and gave investigators a copy of their photo, Harran said.
Later Sunday, a detective went around to local apartment complexes looking for Smith and spotted him, Harran said.
Smith was arrested on robbery and theft charges and is being held on $50,000 bail. Electronic court records did not list an attorney for him. 

$360 Billion? Why not? It’s five o’clock somewhere…

This Dude guy, in Fort Worth, Texas, my hometown, just tried to cash a check for $360 billion at a Chase Bank! Nice try, homes…

                                                 

The best part is the quote given by the woman he stole the check from: Sharon Laird said if her family had $360 billion, “I wouldn’t be sitting here. I’d be somewhere drinking margaritas. It’s five o’clock somewhere, sometime.”